i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
Randomize
