my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
She bit a glass in half.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
