Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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