I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
