Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
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