That's intense
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
