I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
did i just pee glitter
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
