Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
Randomize
