I can tuck mytits in my pants
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Ya know what's the worst? Being drunk and wanting to show someone a picture of your goddaughter but not wanting to open the pictures on your phone because the first one is of someone's dick..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
