I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I got a job at a micro-brewery. Now who made the bigger mistake, them or me?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
