About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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