Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
