i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
