Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Randomize
