She announced her abortion via fbk
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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