He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Randomize
