That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize