are you still at the devil's house?
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
