puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize