I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Randomize
