hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
Randomize
