I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
