just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
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