So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
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