I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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