I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
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