The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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