so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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