Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
that is very illegal...i love you.
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