the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
