the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
