i just wanna soil my oats bro
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
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