i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
