so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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