I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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