Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
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