he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
