I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
