im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
