Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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