why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
