i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize