woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Randomize
