Do you still have your period?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
