Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
50% drunk capacity currently
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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