So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Randomize
