My secretary told me she wishes she can have an affair with someone in the office (she's separated from her cheating husband)...Umm...Okaaay
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
