i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I just woke up on an unfamiliar floor, my shoes are gone, my suits covered in red lipstick and chocolate, and Im wearing sunglasses that say "Maid of Honor".God damnit I love this country.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
