Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
