just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
