At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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