I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
