His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize