Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
So squirting runs in the family.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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