I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
