I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Randomize