My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Randomize
