Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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