Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
