similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
