FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
