I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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